It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow paisley bikini

Hooray, the sun came back today!!! I was not feeling the rain. And with the sun came the decision to buy myself a bikini. It was a hellish process but after going to Old Navy to try on swimsuits, I decided on my Yellow Paisley bikini.

I realize now why I let a few years pass before I get a swimsuit. I have body image issues, and if my body had a definitive shape I think I would feel better. My body is a square! I didn't get my mom's petite hour glass shape. I got a square. I'm a skinny square! " You wouldn't think it would be an issue but it limits my choices. I can't wear a once piece to cover myself because it makes me look very blah! I can't wear a tankini because it emphasizes the square that is I. I am stuck with a bikini, and showing more skin than I'd like too. I also had the "I feel fat" moment while staring at myself in the mirror. My dreams to wear an xs top and bottom were dashed by the blessing and the curse that is my Latina bust and booty. Thus I am stuck with a small for my booty and a medium for my boobs.

I was having a crisis in the changing room with the interchangeable "I feel bloated", "Yikes, this orange is making me look like a day-glo vampire," "Crap, why can't I fit my boobs into this top," and "Why can't my booty be a wee bit tinier?" Then I tried on my bikini and all those feelings went away. Relief from hell! Thank God!!! I didn't look fat. The color works with my skin tone. I felt great. Why did I have a crisis? Damn ,the skinny models and celebrities for making me doubt myself!!! I never want to go through this again. It's too emotionally draining. I'll see the swimsuit aisle again in 4-5 years.